So Bad It’s Not Even Good

So+Bad+Its+Not+Even+Good

Vicky O'Brien, Assistant Editor

Kalin and Myles’ new album Dedication is a rap, hip-hop hybrid of complete garbage. Although the tracks on the album have a decent beat, their sound is unoriginal and almost entirely indistinguishable from any other popular hip-hop artist. In addition, Dedication includes multiple songs describing how the duo are “in love” with women, which I found extremely shocking because Kalin and Myles’ lyrics are incredibly degrading and disrespectful towards those same women.

The first track on the album, “Trampoline,” sounded like a bad imitation of Jason Derulo. The song is almost exclusively about asking women to “bounce that thang,” and the entire song references womens’ bodies and how they “got all these dudes so thirsty.” If you ignore the lyrics, the song is not too bad. “Trampoline” has a strong beat and it feels like a song you would dance to at a 7th grade party. Overall, this song reminded me of something I would have listened to in middle school, but as a junior in high school I definitely would not listen to this by choice.

After initially listening to “Trampoline,” I had to see the music video. The video was hilariously awful and degrading to women. If you would like to see underage girls “dancing” and prancing around, “Trampoline” is the video for you. Each scene in the video consisted of women “dancing,” but apparently the only dance moves the girls knew how to do was a mixture of jumping and awkwardly flailing their arms through the air. The girls in the background of each scene did not even smile and barely even participated in the jumping, the only dancer who had any talent whatsoever was a guy wearing a red flannel shirt dancing next to a refrigerator. My favorite part of the video was the excessive use of a selfie stick to record their dances—the production value was top-notch.

The next “hit” song was “I Don’t Really Care.” In comparison to “Trampoline,” “I Don’t Really Care” was above average. Although, if it was not for the interesting eight second intro, I would not have even noticed that the next track on the album came on. The intro and transitions between verses were unique and had a sound similar to Skrillex; they were definitely the best parts of the tune. Kalin and Myles cleaned up their act in this song, with regards to the lyrics, but they still managed to mention “grinding” multiple times. “I Don’t Really Care” was obviously the best single on the album, so if you are willing to listen, Kalin and Myles “I Don’t Really Care” is your top choice.

What is a hip-hop album without a ballad? The answer: a good hip-hop album. Unfortunately Kalin and Myles decided to be as predictable as every other artist with “Dedication.” Aside from the annoying repetition of the words “dedicate” and “love,” the lyrics completely contradict the other songs on the album. What woman would want to be dedicated to a man who just two songs ago was asking them to “bounce that thang?” “Dedication” was not all bad, and it was far better than “Trampoline.” After listening to this track about seven times I noticed something weird. During the chorus “so can I make a special dedication… I think I’m in love,” if you ignore the singer and just listen to the background noise you can hear a very well executed satanic ritual. Seriously, I do not know what those people screeching in the background are saying but it is very unsettling.

The fourth and final song “You’re The Only One I Need,” integrates Spanish into their lyrics. So, in addition to copying Jason Derulo, I guess Kalin and Myles also wanted to imitate Pitbull. “You’re The Only One I Need” has a style unlike any other song on the album and it was not done well. The lyrics also had a lot of repetition, but at least they were not degrading to women. The only credit I can give to Kalin and Myles is that they tried something new, but in this case they should not have done something so random.

Clearly I would not recommend Dedication to any self-respecting high school student, but maybe some of the more sexist younger people would appreciate the album. If Kalin and Myles had released their album while I was in seventh grade, I probably would have enjoyed it. I find their song similar to that of Disney Channel stars who were forced to sing, but with very crude lyrics. If you are curious about Kalin and Myles’ music you can click here to check them out, but I can only hope my review will stop you from doing so.