Three-time Grammy winner Gwen Stefani, singer of well-known songs such as “Hollaback Girl,” has recently come out with a new single called “Spark the Fire.” Accompanied by a half-animated, half wild dance party music video, “Spark the Fire” is sure to stand out from any of Stefani’s other songs.

Starting with a quirky and slightly creepy rhythm, my first impression of “Spark the Fire” was that it should belong in an Anime TV show. Then the beat picks up, and I started to wish I was doing anything else with my day other than listening to this piece of garbage. And that was only 34 seconds in. A very, very annoying bell keeps time in the background as Stefani moans the same unintelligible lyrics over and over and over and over and over.

The chorus “Who got the lighter? Let’s spark the fire,” (which is repeated every other word) makes me feel like my ears are on fire listening to this so-called-song. When a great song is created, a lot of thought and meaning go into writing the lyrics and matching it with the sound and the beat of the song. It is clear that comparing this song to any great song is like comparing apples and oranges—they are two completely different things. I don’t think “Spark the Fire”  should even be considered a song, much less a great one.

A little over halfway through the song, the music takes a turn. Instead of sounding like whiny K-pop, the bridge of  “Spark the Fire” becomes slow and dramatic, drawing out every undecipherable word. Then it goes back to the Anime-theme-song-impersonator sound with the lyrics “Hey! Get off my cloud.” I am more than happy to “get off your cloud,” Stefani.

The song ends the same way it started—horribly. The ringing of bells and electro-beat noises just kind of fades into the distance like my hope that this song would be worth my time. I’m not sure who decided that this would be considered music, but whoever that was has made the biggest mistake of their life.

Now the music video is a whole separate can of worms. The question we are all asking is, why the animation? The video starts with a little cutesy animated world, and Stefani floating on a cloud that has a bright, smiling face. That cloud is the stuff of nightmares. Then, without warning, the video switches to a crazy dance party with flashing lights and flailing people. Little animated speech bubbles and emoticons that match the lyrics pop up around Stefani’s head as she sings. I suppose it matched the feel of the song—creepy and attempting to be cute. But for the most part the animation is just plain weird and out of place.

At the whiny bridge part of the song the video transitions, again, without warning, back to the animated world. Stefani tries to grab a giant lego piece, but she can’t because it’s animated and she’s not, and then lights a lighter. Then back to the dance party. What? I didn’t even watch the rest of the music video.

Don’t waste your time; the song “Spark the Fire” and it’s music video are three pointless minutes of your life that you will never get back. Even the most bored internet surfers have something better to do. If I were to rate this song out of ten, I would have to give it a -32. Gwen Stefani’s music making days are long over. She was able to make good music once, but it clearly isn’t happening again.