I picked up a paintbrush for the first time in ages a few months ago. It wasn’t for an art class or a project—it was for my boyfriend’s Christmas gift. There was no plan or reference image, just the pure desire to create something personal. Most of my paints were crusty and dried up, a reminder of how long it had been. The ones that were semi-usable had oil separating from the color, but after a good shake, they were as good as new. That first stroke was exhilarating, and less than two hours later, I had created art. Not my best work, but art nonetheless. I didn’t even end up gifting that finished piece—I scrapped it entirely. But in that short moment, just seeing the final product, something entirely of my own creation, made me feel…good.

I absolutely love art and design and have all of my life. I have vivid memories of painting with watercolor on Saturday mornings with my little sister, doodling heartfelt sketches to be pinned on the wall of my dad’s closet, sometimes even diving into our recycling bin to search for scrapped chip boxes and bottle caps to craft furniture for my dolls and toys. I hadn’t been exposed to the hypnotic power of technology yet, and before Instagram and YouTube consumed my time, there was art and creation. I had nothing better to do than draw and read.

I envy my younger self. The girl who wasn’t so easily discouraged and distracted. When I wanted to paint, I painted. I wanted a new couch for my dolls’ house? I went outside, dug in the bin, and crafted it with the recycled materials. There were no weeks of waiting around and thinking rather than doing. That’s my problem most of all, this mindset of habitual laziness: “I want to do XYZ so bad! But I can probably do it another day…hey! I haven’t checked on Instagram today.” And scene.

I feel as though in the past year I’ve become pretty understanding of who I am to my core and more importantly the things I want to change. So often I catch myself wishing to accomplish things that are fully in my control to do at any time. I’ll be scrolling through Pinterest looking at all the mesmerizing art pieces thinking to myself “I want to do that” or “Someday I want to create things like that myself”. I’ve discovered that the truth is I can do those things I want to do at any time. There’s quite literally nothing stopping me but me. Yeah, sure, maybe the bajillion-page AP Calculus review I’m putting off, but that’s beside the point. The only thing holding me back from indulging in my hobbies more often is pure laziness and the time I spend on my phone.

So, I’ve started small. For Christmas, as I mentioned before, I painted for the first time in ages. After scrapping my first attempt, I settled for a small portrait of my boyfriend and me for his Christmas gift. Then Valentine’s Day, a Boston street landscape. Just the other day I painted something for myself— a winding road amid tall trees in a star-filled sky.

It’s been fun. Genuinely, I have found so much joy in indulging in a forgotten hobby. I touched on this in a recent story I wrote about the very temporary TikTok ban, but life is so short and precious, and wasting it by not doing the things that interest you is dumb. Since getting back into making art and getting crafty, I’ve had things to look forward to. It’s the second semester of senior year, and often it can feel absolutely unbearable just getting through each school day. Last week, though, a regular Wednesday of school went by fast, because all I had on my mind was the blank 8 x 5 inch canvas waiting for me on my desk at home.

Long story short: serve yourself, indulge in your interests, and don’t push them away. It’s worthwhile. Getting back into my hobbies has reminded me that I don’t have to spend all my free time circling the infinite loop of “I wish I could…”. I could just do the things I keep saying I want to do. Turns out, the best way to get back into something you love is to actually start. Who knew? So if you’ve been waiting for a sign to pick up that paintbrush, guitar, or half-finished crochet project—this is it. Go make something. And maybe shake your paints before you use them.